find casino games at GamblingInsider Changing Faces, I Won't Give Up (Chapter 52)
Changing Faces
I Won’t Give Up (Chapter 52)


“oh shit no!” Lamar said as he began tearing up

The other doctors ran to grab the machine to shock a person back to life. I was crying so hard at the thought of him being gone.

Nani woke up in the carriage and began screaming, I knew it was because of the drama around her. I picked her and walked down the hall crying but kissing her on the cheek.

“I dwont want him dead uncle Lamar” AJ said looking down crying

“he’s gonna be okay little man” he said to him as he hugged him

“baby shhhh shhh mommy’s here, mommy’s here” I said in broken speech holding onto Nani

It took a while but I got her calm again. I just couldn’t get myself calm, I damn near ran back to the room door to see what was going on.

I sat Nani back in the stroller. I looked into the room doctors were shocking his chest to try to get him breathing again

One doctor was checking his pulse as the other doctor shocked him. The other doctor began CPR to bring him back in between the shock waves. They took one more shock onto his chest, almost about to give up.

Best believe I was silently praying to God as I watched this.

“Lord, let this miracle happen, let this miracle happen. In sickness and in health, I want to hold strong to my vows, I love him, don’t take him yet, he’s got so much to accomplish, he has children, father please.” I began crying mumbling this prayer to God

I began reminding God of his word “remember when you told Isaiah to tell Hezekiah that he should prepare his home because he was going to die from being sick and Hezekiah turned to the wall and knelt down to pray. He reminded you of all of the faith he’s had in you and how he’s worked for you doing good in your eye sight then you told Isaiah to tell Hezekiah that you heard his prayer and for that you will add 15 more years onto his life? How merciful and generous you are Father. I know Abel’s actions haven’t been good in your eyesight but he only tries. I’m his other half so I ask that you take my faith as the both of ours. I ask that you see what faith I’ve had in you and spare my husband’s life. Then, I ask that you continue to strengthen our bond, we really need it God. Thank you, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

I closed my eyes and a tear fell out of my eye, then a miracle happened. I heard the machine from within the bedroom begin beeping at a steady pace again! I was so overwhelmed with joy that I ran into the bedroom to see him.

“he’s alive!!!” I screamed crying tears of joy

“miss, miss don’t go near him yet, he’s still coming back to life” the doctor informed me

I smiled and ran back into the hallway. I saw the doctors clapping their hands, rejoicing. I was crying and Hyghly and Lamar smiled. I picked AJ up and kissed him.

“daddy’s coming home” I said smiling

I saw his face light up into a big cheese. I knew he was happy! God does answer prayers, no one can deny that!

“I knew he was strong yo” Hyghly said smiling

“my baby is, he’s one of the strongest men I know” I said smiling

“he’s one of the luckiest sons of bitches in the world yo” he said

“oh believe me Hyghly, luck…had NOTHING to do with it” I said grinning

They looked at me confused but I kept thanking God in my head.

One Week Later

On AJ’s birthday he came to the hospital with a few family members and we had cake and ice cream and played board games with him. He enjoyed himself and I can tell it made Abel happier.

The babies stayed with my mom for a while.

I’ve been staying with Abel here in the hospital; they’re keeping CLOSE watch on him and his heart patterns. He’s still recovering from an overdose. When he overdosed on cocaine the paramedics injected an anti-od medicine in him in the ambulance, it counteracts against the overdose process of losing brain function and resets the body back to normal. That’s how he was alive in the hospital again. I can’t wait to ask him what he seen when he passed but I know it’ll be a while before I bring it back up in his face again.

His nurse walked in…

“okay so the doctor ordered for a CT scan just to check on his heart and things like that, make sure it looks healthy, transportation will be here within 20 minutes so I’ll leave you two alone to get ready” she said pulling the curtain over and closing the door

“damn I don’t feel like moving” Abel said laying down

“it’s okay baby I’m here to help you” I said rubbing his hair back

I stood up and slowly helped him out of bed. He had these light blue hospital pants that went with the gown. I held onto him as he stood up. From the heart attack he was still pretty weak and from the medicines they were giving him. Of coarse they had to ask what other drugs could possibly be in his system before giving him pharmaceutical meds just in case. So they took blood work to scan for drugs.

I sat on the bed next to him and waiting for the lady with the wheelchair to come. When she finally arrived, Abel sat in the chair and she proceeded to wheel him out of the room with me following behind.

We made it downstairs to the testing area. We got into the cold room and we helped him onto the table.

“okay now I’m gonna but this dye through your IV so it might make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside” the nurse said

“well what does it do?” I asked in concern

“it simply brightens up the insides in the pictures we’re gonna take so we can see clearly”

“oh okay” I said

“I can feel it, it makes me sleepy” Abel said kind of smiling

“yep that’s the dye lol alright here we go”

The test began and he was pushing into an open circle like machine. The sounds of the scans sounded like a washing machine.

When it was over, we went back up to his bedroom. It was time for his lunch so I ordered it on the phone and they brought it up for him. I wasn’t hungry so…

I ordered him baked chicken, chicken noodle soup, french fries, cookies, crackers, and four sprite pops (you get a lot of food for one tray!!).

When it arrived I helped him eat. I made his food up and prayed over it and began feeding him. His arms move pretty slowly from the weakness of the heart attack so I help him with things like this, even in the bathroom. I mean hey, better me than some young blonde nurse. Besides, I’m his wife…

The doctor said the heart attack was a major one that kind of threw his whole body out of wack for a while. He even said it was a miracle that they were able to resuscitate him after a heart attack that big. He went into cardiac arrest after the attack that’s how he died. He asked me if he was taking any cardiologic suppressant drugs. I told him the only thing I can think of is the lean. He told me that’s why he’s so susceptible to easy heart attacks. I got scared by hearing that, I never wanted to leave Abel after hearing this a few days ago.

I blew on his soup and fed him, he didn’t seem too happy though.

“daddie what’s wrong?”

“nothin’ baby, I feel like shit…” he said

“I know its hard now baby”

“yeah not being able to do what I want on my own is pretty hard, I’m not an infant I’m 28, I had to cancel my upcoming tour for this shit…” he said looking down

“baby your fans understand, they love you, they’re more concerned with your health than a few songs performed on stage. I’m your wife, if you need my assistance I’m going to help you bottom line…” I said cutting a piece of chicken for him to eat

He ate it and began talking “I know but baby it’s just fucked up, can’t even take a shower by myself”

“I’m here to help you, it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before Abel lol, don’t act brand new lol”

“I know you seen me before but it’s just kind of belittling to me”

“no its not, I’m your wife, I understand, as a matter of fact you’re so strong, you’re my trooper for even recovering from something like this, you’re amazing”

I saw him smirk, I got a smile out of him, I got happy.

“you really think so?” he asked me

“I know so baby, you’ll recover from this, your strength will come back to you”

“thanks baby” he smiled

“no problem baby that’s why I’m here, besides, I’m coming back home, I got the landlord to cancel my lease for the apartment, I mean it’s against the rules but she bended a little for me, I was grateful, I needed you baby”

“I need you too, I see that now” he smiled

“yeah we need each other, lol shower tonight?”

“only if you join me”

“baby no sex we can’t do that lol”

“I didn’t say we had to have sex…”

“well I’ll take it into consideration, you do have a private room lol”

“of coarse I do lol its ours for the time being”

“yeah, I’ll take a shower with you lol but I’m still helping you wash up that’s all I’m going to do”

“okay, if my dick grows don’t get surprised”

“why would it grow?”

“because your naked wet body in the shower with me, you think about it”

“I mean baby lol” I said blushing “I’ll wash your hard dick for you lol”

“promise? Lol” he said joking with me

“only if it’s dirty lol”

“its never dirty but it could use washing every now and then lol”

“well that’s what I’m here for baby…lol” I smiled “you freak, you don’t even have all of your strength back yet, I don’t think you can handle this pussy yet lol” I said smiling

“lol I didn’t say we had to fuck, I just want to because it would be hot, besides, don’t go there with me lol, I’m weak but not paralyzed from the neck down, I’ve fucked numb from the neck down on lean plenty of times before lol”

“I know daddie, I was kidding lol, come on eat this soup, this is step one to regaining strength” I said holding a spoon full to him

He ate it off the spoon “thanks baby”

“boy if you thank me again! I’m your wife, that’s why I’m here”

I looked at him and smiled and he smiled back at me

Two Weeks Later

Abel’s finally home. I’ve been helping him out with everything. He still couldn’t move a lot and had to hold on to stuff to stand up. I helped him.

The doctor said this would last for a while, but it’ll be okay, I don’t mind.

The Next Month – February 16th, 2019


I’m getting better but I’m still pretty weak, I notice I run out of breath fast. I guess I’m not fully recovered. It’s my 29th birthday, I’m getting old fuck! lol…

I went out with Nicki, Hyghly, Henny, Jake and Rexy, Julian, they all brought female company with them and Lamar along with his new girlfriend, Linéa pronounced like “Lin-ay-ah”. She was pretty as fuck though. She’s a cute, short, pretty thick, white girl. She has long brunette hair. They seemed pretty serious, I don’t know. He loves white girls just as much as me so it’s believable.

I still was pretty weak so Nicki helped me by linking my arm a lot. We went to see a new horror flick out; I was into shit like that lol. Then we went out and sat in a bar & grill restaurant and chilled, ate, drank (fuck the hospital I still have to drink), and talked to each other.

If I wasn’t in this condition I would have surely clubbed it up. Don’t think I’m getting away from that lifestyle because I wasn’t the one who chose that xo life; that xo life chose me lmfao…

When we finally got back home at 1 am we were in our bedroom, she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth, I was drinking fruit punch. I tried picking up the glass, but my arm gave out and it fell and spilled on me and the glass hit the floor and cracked.

“man fuck…” I said beginning to get frustrated, I’m starting to get sick of this shit

Nicki ran out of the bathroom wiping toothpaste from her mouth

“daddie you okay??”

“I’m cool baby” I wasn’t, I lied, I looked around rolling my eyes and shaking my head

She came out and sat next to me

“baby what’s wrong?”

“nothin’ baby I’m cool”


I hate when he lies to me. I knew something was bothering him

“you have to change your shirt” I said helping him taking it off and throwing it in the dirty clothes basket “you can sleep shirtless I wouldn’t mind lol”

I got a smirk out of him, I wanted the truth though

“baby, tell me please” I pleaded with him

“I’m sick of this shit, I mean being weak and shit”

“you’re getting stronger baby, you’ve come so far from a few weeks ago.”

“sometimes I feel like, this was a punishment or curse or some shit”

“for what??”

“for not being the best I possibly could have”

“baby you are the best, you’re the best for me”

“nah, your family doesn’t think I’m good enough and sometimes I actually prove all that shit right I wont lie”

“baby, you’re my husband, not theirs, they can talk about you and I’ll defend you, that’s what we’re supposed to do”

“still makes me feel shitty in front of them”

“you shouldn’t…no one really says that but my grandma on my daddy’s side. She’s just always like that. She was like that about my uncle Kevin’s wife when it came to her cooking and what kind of napkins she used at the dinner table, cloth or paper…” I said smacking my lips “she has a big mouth I’ll admit”

“its fucked up tho”

“you never knew this but I’m gonna tell you because it’s an example kind of like yours”

“okay, go on I’m listening…” Abel said

“well, I know you’re from Toronto and everything, but by any chance have you ever heard of The Gangster Disciple Folkz Nation?”

“lmfaooo what is that, some type of bang bang clique? Lol”

“no baby on the contrary, they’re an official street gang. They’re headquarters are the South Side of Chicago, the low ends, Inglewood, Stony Island, places like that.”

“okay you have my attention go on”

“well the gang works like this…” I took a deep breath “they have two different huge divisions of gangs, one called Folkz Nation and the other called People’s Nation, they hate each other. Crips aren’t necessarily in Folkz Nation but they are cool with the Gangster Disciples, but Bloods? They hate them, they despise them. The main rival gang of GD are the Vice Lords, they bang on the West Side of Chicago, the low ends over there. The Vice Lords are cool with the Compton Bloods because they’re all a part of People’s Nation.”

“so the two nations are like countries, the gangs are like states right?”

“exactly, if you’re not affiliated with a nation, then you’re as good as dead to them”

“lol this shit sounds stupid but go on…”

“it is stupid, I never agreed with street gangs, but yes they’re so official that they were featured on episodes of Gangland and everything.”

“okay, well I have one question for you, how do you know so much about these gangs…should I be suspicious miss Nicki? Lol”

“lol no, but I do have family that are in it…” I said looking up at him

“oh word for real?”

“yes like you wouldn’t believe. Okay you know my uncle Jaishaun? Jordan’s brother?”


“he was in the gang for years, he just got out not too long ago, he was in it ever since he was 14”

“he was in what?”

“GD, Gangster Disciples”

“why did he stay in for so long?”

“because they kill you if you try to leave the gang early, he put in so much work though he became a Professional Rider by the age of 18, but you have to be in the gang for at least 25 years to leave freely, that’s considered being a GD Legend”

“wow that’s fucked up yo…”

“yeah I also have other affiliates”

“like who?”

“well Jai and Jordan’s brothers named Raiquan and Quentin they’re twins. They’re fraternal twins though, they don’t look alike, one is yellow and one is caramel.”

“sound too soft to be in a street gang to me lol”

“lol don’t let their looks fool you, uncle Jai had the heart to be that nigga to beat somebody’s ass but still be cool and loyal to his people, his brothers are heartless”


“the twins, they’re considered distant “uncles” to me, I mean they seen me when I was a baby but they never liked my family, they’re that mean. They didn’t even like they’re younger brother, my uncle Jordan”


“they wanted him to join the gang at a young age but when he turned them down, they start calling him a bitch, pussy, dumb ass mother fucker, shit like that, misery loves company that’s all, they’re so heartless they shot him and almost killed him before”


“yes, they don’t give a fuck, they’re still in the gang though, they don’t wanna stop gang bangin’ they like doing it, its fucked up how they are though…”

“I see, that is fucked lol so this how Chicago gets down??”

“yeah boy, it ain’t no joke on the low ends lol”

“that’s fucked up baby…”

“yeah and one more connection to the gang, you’re not gonna believe it lol…”

“lol what??”

“my daddy’s ex girlfriend is a part of the gang, her name is Layla, she’s black, he always had a thing for black women”

“word?? That’s crazy lol”

“she got him into a lot of shit involving the gang when he was younger because she had a big ass mouth and by her being queen bee of the female gang in GD, she’s held high by the niggas in the gang. When my daddy and her got into an argument, because she wasn’t a good girlfriend at all, she cheated, she gold digged, she was ghetto and loud, she was rude, she fucked with my daddy like he was nothing, but when they argued she always threatened to tell the niggas on him but my daddy is a humble man but when shit like that popped off he never backed down from her, so yeah she’s another element.”

“that’s fuckin’ crazy yo, I never knew that about your family lol they’re wild as fuck yo…”

“yeah lol I thought this was as good of time as any…”

“well why baby?”

“because, Jai was in the gang for years but he’s still accepted into this family, we all love him, he’s family. My mothers old friends named Derionte and Rashad were affiliated with GD they were in the gang but they represented it everywhere they went.”

“who are they?”

“well they aren’t as close of “friends” as they were because they’re best friend is my mothers ex named Keith. He fucked with her through high school, treated her like shit and always had this freaky thing to win her back after…”

“sounds familiar to me lol…” he said looking

“lol yeah with Diggy lmfao”

“Keith’s brother’s name is Keishaun, he’s the same age as my uncle Jai and he was in the gang too, he almost raped my mom when she was like a freshmen or sophomore in high school and he was like 19” I said shaking my head

“word???? This shit is crazy yo your family is a candidate for Jerry Springer lol”

“I know right! We should write a book! Lol “The Chronicles of Jonas” okay I’m kidding”

“baby you’re funny lol” he chuckled

“well I said all of that to say, Jai is apart of this family regardless of what he did in the past. Look at all of these gang members or gang affiliates or bad guys or girls my family had in their lives at one point? Should we really be the ones to judge??”

“I feel you ma, thanks lol”

“no problem lol, don’t feel bad you’re perfect for me baby, now you know my family history, I know its a lot to take in within this first explanation but as time goes on you’ll understand them more, you’ll see what I mean?”

“don’t tell me I’m gonna have to fuck a nigga up baby”

“lol no, what I’m saying is you’ll know what I mean as time goes on and you witness more and more activity of my uncles…lol”

“they’re pretty cool”

“yeah Jai and Jordan are cool lol but Que and Quan, that’s Raiquan and Quentin’s nicknames are hot messes and Layla ugh don’t even get me started…” I said rolling my eyes

“yeah baby don’t make me have to fuck em up”

“they don’t fight fair, they’re all about their submachine uzi’s and techs”

“lol don’t think because I never use them that I don’t have what I need, I know niggas don’t fight fair today, lol don’t take where I come from and judge my skills lol”

“no baby I know just how you can fight lol, you scare me sometimes, don’t worry I know what’s up, but do you feel better about being around my family?”

“yeah lol a lot better, I don’t feel like the simple drug addict especially with history like that”

“good, I’m happy because you aren’t a simple drug addict you’re amazing to me”

“lol thanks baby, I love you”

“I love you too daddie”

I know one thing; Que and Quan better NOT come at the Abel or the crew wrong! I know they’ll be protective if they seen me with them on the streets, but they better not try anything, seriously no one has any idea how mean and heartless these niggas are until you meet them. I know Abel isn’t nor is the crew runnin’ though. To be honest Hyghly is as feisty as Quentin, hopefully these two crews never run into each other…ehh nahhh they won’t lol I’m over reacting.

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